6 minor business practices that kind of suck

6 minor business practices that kind of suck

   So my frustration towards some of these minor issues may not be as serious as the angry meme guy might make it seem but there are some profoundly unethical, greedy and just plain cheap business practices that need to see their way out the door. Most of these issues are just ignored by the average person with some whole sectors of society even wanting and craving these things. Following, I will poke these issues with my stick of slight indignation and hope that I have others out there that feel the same way. 

Issue #6

Half assed products 

   We have all been one of those happy kids on Christmas day furiously ripping open presents with that ridiculous grin on our face, only to get to the prize and find out that we need some batteries that we don't have in order to get the damn thing to work. The  TV remote control is usually the first victim in our haste to find some batteries for this thing. Wall clocks and flashlights are the next to go if those remote batteries don't happen to fit. And somewhere in this process you wonder to yourself, "Why does this stupid thing need batteries in the first place? And why so many?!". Well the answer to that question is represented in the graph above. If you can throw it out onto the market as cheaply as possible, you got yourself a win there buddy. Well a win for the companies involved anyway. For us and our parents, it was never the best feeling knowing that we had just received or bought a present that wasn't completely functional. That mad dash around the house looking for those batteries could easily have been avoided if the manufacturers simply threw some batteries into that little car in the first place. Charge an extra buck and you easily make your money back for the cost involved. But no, they simply have a small note on the back that says, "Batteries not included". Sure, you should read the packaging first to make sure  you are getting a complete product, but the company not including it in the first place is a bit on the cheap side; cheapness will be a common factor in this article as you will find out. 

   The most notorious recent case involved the release of the PS3 game system. Being the most advanced console game system at the time, it's functionality relied on high tech pieces of equipment to function at it's highest level. When customers lined up to buy their systems, they didn't know that they would only be getting equipment that would let them view the game in its most basic form. An HDMI cable would be necessary to view and hear the system's output in optimal format and what do you know, they didn't include one. Seeing as how the customers paid over $700 for one piece of gaming equipment, they were a bit peeved to not get as much as a knock off brand HDMI cable that would have only costed the company another 5 dollars or so to include. One could argue ( as with any of these issues ) that it is not on Sony to include that "advanced" piece of equipment, but myself along with millions of other customers would beg to differ. This case got so much attention that it actually changed many store policies like that of Wal-mart, Target, Best Buy and others, to make sure their salesmen informed the public that an HDMI cable would be needed for optimal performance. It's of note to point out that this issue was so low on the list because it doesn't affect us too much in the end. But while the issue as a whole is rather minor, the main case presented actually ended up having one of the most dramatic results on the market. 

Issue #5

Micro-charging

"Micro-charging" is also known as "pay to win", in the gaming world or "profiteering" in the common lexicon . While the graphic may read "pay to play", the concepts are very similar. Micro-charging is a way to profit from a game by charging for just about anything crucial to success in the game. This system was once only used by top game makers that boasted millions of supporters with some extra cash to throw around. More recently, just about everyone is using this cash cow to haul off their truckloads of ill gotten gains. It really doesn't seem to matter how large or small the company is or how much of a following they have. Just slap together some generic piece of shit, let people play some parts of it for free and then charge for everything else. Pretty simple. 

   Many apps ( not just games ) are starting to follow this trend. You can have some basic options for nothing but if you want to do anything more advanced you will have to pay dearly for it. And pay they do. You would be surprised to find out how many people actually buy into this sort of thing. It takes a very small percentage of any given market to accept sorts of things like this before it becomes commonplace. 

   Take books for example. In my eyes the common paperback has been a staple of micro-charging and profiteering for years. After 2 books with Frodo and the gang, I'm not too sure that I want to spend more dough trying to find out if they reach that mountain or not. But million did and still do and this reinforces the production companies and empowers them to keep this charade up. 

   Advertising has been used since the dawn of social media, back when radios first showed up. The purpose of advertising is to offset the cost of producing a product and having no other way to recoup that value. In modern media such as apps and online content, not everyone understands that once you pay to remove ads, there shouldn't be any around. "Premium" or other exclusively titled memberships should be completely free of additional revenue generators by the companies involved but sadly this isn't always the case. Even more to the point, this model is also becoming more and more popular. If one were to ask how much it would cost to get rid of all the ads, I would hate to hear that answer. 

   My main concern as I have stated before is that I don't want these trends to be reinforced to that point that every new media released will have one of these models instantly attached to it. Running things this way will only lead to eventual resentment from the market and probable future boycott of such products. Thankfully for most media companies these days, most of their popularity is so short lived that they need not worry about revolt because after a market starts to turn against them, that new guy is already coming up to take the old ones spot. And they all lived happily ever after.

Issue #4

Monopolies 

Monopoly isn't just a fun board game that we played as kids. It is a real concept that actually inspired the game. "Monopoly" is a term used to define a state of operations in which a company has so dominated their respective sectors, that competition is nearly or completely nonexistent. When a company reaches these heights it is typically a dark day for the general public. Animals like pigs and some sea creatures can continue growing until their local resources are exhausted and just like those animals, companies will continue to grow until they have laid waste to the land and completely enslaved a once loyal consumer base. In the past, companies like Southwestern Bell and American Steel have been broken up due to their monopolies and the public in turn was able to grow many other companies due to government intervention. In fact, the secondary company AT&T eventually overtook it's founding company of Southwestern Bell and eventually bought them out in recent times. This merger wasn't contested due to corrupt politicians and the fact that there are plenty of other very competitive companies in the sector now. 


   The future of business will be almost completely online. It will costs Americans millions of jobs but enough of the consumer base will demand these services that it will become the norm. One major company with a godlike monopoly on digital media is Apple. We have all heard of their app store and even Itunes. What most of us have failed to realize is this  stranglehold on digital media is highly unethical and borderline illegal. Soon after the Iphone 42.7 was released, it was "jailbroken". "Jailbreaking" an Iphone is a simple way of saying that you don't have to be limited to AT&T's ridiculous service plans for the Iphone and can instead opt to use the service of Tmobile if so desired. When the first few people started switching carriers Apple went insane because they and AT&T weren't jerking each other off for nothing. They wanted their monopoly and they wanted it now. Then someone along the way pointed out the fact that once you buy something, it is yours and you can't be forced to use it in a certain manner, as long as you don't plan on profiting from the product( or at least this is how it works in theory ). To be completely fair though, Apple and AT&T weren't the first partner companies by a long shot. Other companies in the cellular device and service industry have been doing this since cell phones first became popular around '99. A lot of people have trouble differentiating between producing and carrying. Producing means that you make the physical product and ship it out to the retail chains. Carrying is what you call what a retailer does with any product in their stores. If a certain product is supplied in a store, it is "carried" there. 


   These simple contracts between producer and carrier may seem small at first glance but if every large company out there were to get together and make their business exclusive to one another, we could see the end of small businesses everywhere, and eliminate a truly free market. People tend to choose the best and the easiest but once things become too easy for any company, the quality and care start to drop. And after things drop so far, people start to loose faith and turn elsewhere for their goods. But what if there is nowhere else to turn? Let's hope we never get to that point. It's up to use to keep these companies on their toes and keep them honest to each of us.


Issue #3
Fine Print

   If you can read this without moving your head congratulations. Actually, now that I see how reasonable this size is, it's not that impressive.


   If I could have typed that previous section in smaller font size, trust me, I would have. And most businesses have the same feeling towards hidden agendas on their contracts. In reality, fine print goes hand in hand with false advertising, half truths, and greedy backhanded tactics, but to simplify it, we will focus mainly on fine print. 


   Hopefully everyone out there has had to sign a very limited number of contracts in their life. Having to sign your name on a contract invokes mountains of responsibility and ownership of debt so it is best to get into as many non contract opportunities as possible. Yes some contracts offer the benefit of boosting your credit rating but the risks for most people should outweigh the possible meager gains. And again, this is information that many people have to find out for themselves due to fine print or bad circumstance alike so companies now ironically try to hide more and more of their ridiculous terms within the fine print of any document. Funny how that works isn't it? I might sound a bit bitter and I assure you that I am. With the recent economic downturn, much of this havoc could have easily been avoided by reading the contracts in full. But it doesn't always work out that way does it?


   When I was 21 I believe, I sought out a gym to sign up with due to my general dissatisfaction for my physical appearance and health issues. So I go out and find a Ballys very close to my home and decide to take a little tour to see if I thought it was the right place for me. After touring the facilities the nice gentleman sat down with me and very briefly discussed some general benefits of having a membership with said gym. In my naive haste I signed up and walked out a happy camper. Some months later I decide that I didn't need the gym's services anymore. Turns out that the gym still needed my money though. Which came as somewhat of a shock to me. I mean, I don't need you anymore, stop taking my money. Simple as that. How stupid I was. Who was I to think that I could simply choose to stop going somewhere and not pay dearly for it? An idiot is what I was apparently. Within the fine print of the contract it apparently stated that I was in fact leasing access to the gym and that I still had a year or so left on that lease. So I chose not to handle the situation beyond ignoring it and to this day they say I owe them 1500 dollars. That is down from an outrageous $2900 at one point. 


   A lot of readers are reminded of this system because it is exactly how renting anything works. I find this system and everyone that supports it quite humorous actually. We pay for something before we use it and somehow owe people money even if we wish to not use to anymore. I wish jobs worked like that. "You're hired. Here is your first paycheck for something you haven't done yet." But of course it works differently for companies because we don't have LLC or INC. after our names. This is a much lighter version of fine print coming back to bite the average Joe in the ass. Remember the economy imploding?


   In 2007, the United States of America experienced it's worst economic downturn since the great depression, sending millions into the poorhouse and millions of others into no house. Even though, as with the great depression, the government crooks wanted it and even designed and allowed it to happen, basic caution could have easily thwarted their plans. Hidden within the fine print of many of these mortgage contracts were criminally insane terms that would make even the most hardened criminal feel bad for these people. What the banks forgot to tell the new homeowners was that in the months and years to come, their mortgage would increase in price by dramatic factors. This may in fact be a case of telling half truths but I don't believe millions of Americans would have signed up for these mortgages if they knew outright that in a short amount of time the price of their house would increase by outrageous amounts. But who knows really? 


Issue #2
Outsourcing 

http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/lou.dobbs.tonight/popups/exporting.america/content.html

  
   Above is a link to a list made by a well respected news organization known as CNN. I felt it was important to use a well known and trusted organization so that there was no confusion about the validity of my claims. Also, you should notice that this is only the United States based companies that are outsourcing jobs. Almost every first world country does this so I will try my best not to pick on the United States too much. 


   Outsourcing is a very politically correct way of saying that a company uses cheap, slave labor in foreign countries to save money on expensive workers in their home country. The outsourcing company almost always comes from an extremely wealthy first world nation, gets tax breaks in their home country and costs the country millions of jobs that are desperately needed. The outsourcing company always finds a very polite and polished excuse to justify their exporting of home land jobs. The most common excuse given to the public and to those employees that lost their jobs to foreign workers is that the company wants to help out the local economy and grow the other countries' workforce. I suppose those first world countries are done growing and there stands no good reason to hire millions of unemployed and underemployed workers; oh wait, there are plenty of good reasons. But, there are plenty more reasons for the company to do business outside of the given country and most of those reasons come in the form of dollar signs. Why hire expensive, stupid, lazy, American workers when you can "grow an economy" with workers that you pay about 100 times less? 


   Good business is not good for the stability of a country. In the weeks prior to this article's inception, Apple's CEO Tim Cook, stated that the national economy was of no concern and that his obligations were to the stockholders. As crass as his statements may have been, it is nice to hear one of these out of touch millionaires finally admit what people have believed for years. And Mr. Cook is not alone in this school of thought. Every other fortune 500 companies' CEO thinks this way at all times, because while millions may not have a job due to their decisions, the execs won't have a job if those decisions aren't made. As long as their is money flowing into their wallets, their job is done and to hell with everyone else. 


   You may have noticed by this point that the issues in question have become more and more serious as the list goes on. That is completely on purpose because things like not having batteries included in your toy car are a bit annoying, but issues like outsourcing can cripple whole economies if not put into check. Thankfully, not every job can be done by guys with 20 vowels in their name in some country where baths are considered a luxury, but if there is a way to outsource a job, by god a company will find it and send that job overseas quicker than you can say Habib. 


Issue #1
Planned Obsolescence 

   Planned obsolescence is another one of those things that people constantly complain about but never fully realize it's true design( or name for that matter ). Anyone around that grew up in my "hood" has seen the effects of planned obsolescence numerous times in their life by now. That damn game system that shatters at the slightest bump, that stupid flashlight that you have to bang against a wall to make work, and the multitude of possible issues you can have with a motor vehicle. These things don't break down because we are just big'ol rough folk that don't know how to properly care for an item. They break down on purpose with malicious intent from the companies that make them. 

   When the industrial revolution struck our country, we began to make sturdy, powerful machines of industry that would stand the test of time. Even the average consumer based product was made with meticulous care and hardy materials. Back then and up until the early 1900's, companies took pride in making a product that would last the ages. Sometime in the 1920's or so, companies started looking at their bottom line and noticed that these super sturdy, ultra durable products were great for customer satisfaction but bad for their bank accounts. So of course the engineers were tasked to make the product less durable in hopes of making a product that would break down easier and in turn, cause the customer to repeat their business with the company more often. And so, the age of planned obsolescence was born. 

   By this point in our history, just about everything is designed to fail. But not just physically fail. Technological obsolescence is also a huge factor in a world of Tweeters, Facebookers and smart phone users. There seems to be a never ending stream of new and improved bullshit that we just can't live without. Thankfully, before that plasma TV has a chance to burn a hole in your wall, there will be something bigger, brighter and more expensive just waiting to swoop in and save you from your technological stupidity. Items that were relevant just 10 years ago in the technology field is now ancient history. Everything gets bigger and smaller and more powerful. Nothing with a decent electrical charge seems to be able to hold still for too long in this ever changing landscape of acronyms and touch screen madness. Keeping up with the Jones' is getting harder and harder because frankly, the manufacturers want it to be this way. I would never want people to be in the dark with technology but some people believe that by the time a college student graduates, their degree will be obsolete. Some colleges are going as far to teach kids about things that will be instead of what is just due to the principles of planned and technological obsolescence. This blistering pace of education and reeducation is simply astounding and one has to wonder if this is all actual progress or just companies milking that cash cow.


Summary


    I have discussed these issues with others in the past and while so many completely agree with me, they still give me one of the weakest excuses you can give; "Well you don't have to buy that product". No, technically I don't. But this is the same excuse republicans give when people ask for a higher living wage. We don't have to work at that particular place but we have to work somewhere. The system sets it up that way. The freedom we believe in is false. The real freedom is in your wallet. Money is the ultimate vote and the ultimate freedom and when our true votes are cast, it affects us all more profoundly than we could imagine. 

The 6 worst things about online gaming

The 6 worst issues facing online gamers

   So it's an average boring evening and your favorite sports team isn't playing and your girl is too busy for you. What is a man to do with his time? Well if you are anything like most young men ( and a few ladies ) out there you will pop that newest fps into your console or double click that icon on your desktop and fly away into your own little fantasy world. As common as this is, equally as common are the mountains of complaints from the gaming community in response to some of the most lazy, stupid and cowardly acts that have ever been witnessed by humanity. These games are supposed to be fun but sometimes the developers can tweak something a bit too much and ruin the experience or the community in general just makes you want to vomit. Following, we will look into some of these common issues that inspire the most hilarious of rage quits and the most infuriating outbursts from grown men.

#6 - Bad connections

Worst offenders - You or possibly the cable company?
   

   This issue is at the lowest position because in a direct or indirect way, it is on the gamer. Most connections are based on how far you are from a certain point of connection. Meaning that your ping is better the closer you are to the central hub. Now as much as I love to blame big companies for mass social issues, this happens to be more of a bad stroke of luck for most of us. Either we can't afford to higher speeds or we just live a bit too far away to make it matter anyway. But all of us have been one kill, point or something away from getting some cool reward only to find our avatars floating around lifelessly with the enemy casually strolling away. Yes this sucks but there is only so much that can be done about it. But...

   Games like COD like to use this "host" system in which the host gets the best connection and the guys feeding off of that dude get slightly lesser connections but still better than the guy below him. This system wouldnt be so bad if it weren't proven that most of the best players on average have a good team and of course, a good connection. The Modern Warfare series could take a hint from PC gaming and use a server or two to host the matches themselves, but that would just mean loosing some of their hundreds of millions in profit; and we wouldn't want that would we?

#5 - Cheating AI

Worst offenders - The Madden series

   This one barely makes the list at any spot because it is both an online and offline issue. But seeing as how a lot of Facebook games are becoming extremely popular and also feature this disgusting feature, it deserves a mention.

   "Cheating AI" is better known to the Madden community as the "Madden comeback". It is an AI( artificial intelligence ) program that has been in place since the early 2000's era Madden games. While playing a game of Madden, if one were to start loosing by an unknown amount, the Madden comeback AI triggers and the loosing players team gets a dramatic boost in ability and gives them the edge for the rest of the game. One way to combat this cheat in the programming is to keep the score relatively close so that the trigger isn't set off; another good way that is actually much harder than controlling the score is to completely blow the other player out from start to finish. The latter method seems to work best as it somehow negates the Madden comeback program.

   I'm not the only one that has noticed this either. Game Informer actually included the Madden comeback AI as one of the all time worst AI cheats in video game history. It's important to note that EA has a long history of this type of chicanery across all platforms and game types so it's nothing new or unheard of. I hate to pick on a once great titan of the industry but it's terrible mucking up of reality and horrid use of creative license has driven me insane at times.

#4 - Campers

Worst offenders - Call of Duty series and any game that rewards such actions

   Anyone that has played a first person shooter ( FPS ) for longer than 10 seconds knows the way of the campers. The definition of camping varies wildly in the gaming world but it is generally defined as; a person that holes up in or around an easily defensible  area that has tremendous cover and multiple lines of sight outward onto the field of play. This item on the list is another one that isn't completely the gamer's fault. Games like Call of Duty heavily reward camping with ridiculous kill streak weapons and even promote it with challenges that almost require one to camp out for a certain period of time. Don't get it twisted though, you don't have to earn every call sign and title and you don't have to camp to win. It is the easiest path to success as there is always a "noob" out there trying to actually play the game while there is always the "pro" sitting in the corner with his golden gun waiting to pick them off. "Golden guns" refers to a camouflage that one gets on a certain weapon after gaining a substantial amount of experience with that weapon. It's ironic that this game mirrors reality   in the way that it rewards you better power ups for doing less work.

   Never fear though! As long as there is a bridge to hide under, a corner to tuck yourself into or a big'ol rusty car to hide behind, some gamers will 

#3 - Nerfed or OP weapons or items

Worst offenders - League of Legends, COD, most MMO's

   To clear some things up here, "OP" stands for overpowered. That is pretty self explanatory. "Nerfed" means that something's power is drawn back or toned down so much that it becomes nearly useless in most practical situations.

   Lets look at the nerfed category first. When a particular item gets used a ton in any game, it automatically enters the nerfing arena. This is only natural because it's a proven fact that people love to root for the underdog, so less used less effective items are favored more than the stronger ones by certain players. This isn't to say that all nerfing situations are just a product of human empathy but it does help an item to be considered for nerfing if it more popular. The number one reason something gets nerfed though is because it is viewed as too powerful for the skill level required to use it. Take the C.O.D series for example. The weapon mounted grenade launchers and rocket launchers were considered too powerful because you didn't have to do much to get a kill. People would just load up with up to 5 explosive projectiles and spam a certain section of the map in hopes that they would land an easy kill. Now this is just seconds into a game so I can see how folks might get a little peeved. What peeved me was Infinity Ward and Treyarch's reaction to the crying little bitches. In the most recent version of the Modern Warfare series, the explosives are so weak that only a direct impact or a hit extremely close to the enemies feet or body will result in an instant kill. This is an extreme example of terrible user feedback transferred into terrible programming to limit the constant complaining from kids.

   Now lets look at the OP side of this problem. We will pick on Madden once again. I like to stick with super popular games so that hopefully someone will get comfort in the fact that they aren't the only ones that noticed it. Anyway, in games like Maddden NFL, certain popular teams get amazing ratings boosts in the game to help them out when players choose them. A lot of fans, even the casual ones, have noticed that at times the play results seem to heavily favor one side, even to the point of predetermination. This is best definition of OP that I can think of. When you know you are a better players, even possibly have a better team and the computer ( and programmers ) think otherwise, you have yourself an overpowered team on your hands. Situations like this happen all the time in the gamer world because developers try to do their best to please a certain group of people without thinking about the others. Sometimes democracy isn't all it's cracked up to be.


#2- Meaningless ratings

Worst offenders - Guess who again? MADDEN. And others.

   I swear this is the last time I will pick on the Madden series! When we talk about useless ratings, Madden tops the rankings again. Sports games have become synonymous with "sliders"; sliders being visual tools that allow you to actually change the difficulty of various aspects of the game. But in Madden, there might as well not be any sliders. It seems to be either all or nothing with them. Turn them all the way up or down to get one of two basic difficulties. Sounds fun right?! If you detected a hint of sarcasm in that last statement, you are right on the money. The empty sliders on Madden and other games give you a false sense of control and more importantly, a false sense of hope.

   Recently though, I have been playing a lot of MW3. In past games, it has been proven that the developers themselves aren't completely aware of their own programming. When certain pieces of code were broken down, it was revealed that a gun that had been shown to have the highest fire rate in the game, actually had the second highest fire rate. This may not seem like a huge deal but keen people like myself tend to question the official information after getting better or worse results from trial and error with different weapons.

   In the end, hardcore gamers would just like to know that the information on screen is correct and that there aren't useless functions in the game that make us think otherwise.

#1 - Matchmaking

Worst offenders - Almost every online game ever made

    Matchmaking tops the list because over all else, most companies just don't get it right. First, let's look at one that did get it right though.

   The Halo series. Halo 1-3 and that ODST thing they pooped onto everyone a while back set the perfect example for online matchmaking and rankings. They have a beautiful system for matching up players based on actual skill rather than accumulative experience. Their system takes into account all of the following: Kill/Death ratio, total personal score, and wins. This seems to be the fairest way to judge ones skills, since if they were to under perform, it would reflect in their rankings and they wouldn't be leveled up until they we are ready. The same goes for the better initial players as well. If the better players are truly great, their skill level will give them actual competition instead of tackling dummies that haven't caught on to the game play yet. Any game's physics already give players enough "wtf moments" but we don't need anymore of those moments given to us by players that are just above and beyond our skill levels at the time. Relative skill rankings can keep those new players from getting too frustrated in their first few days or playing, keeping them around longer and possibly giving them the chance to give the already great players a run for their money. On the monetary side of things, skill rankings give the companies more money in the long run because people aren't trading in their games a week after they bought them and swearing off the company forever thereafter. Now let's look at the bad side of things.

   Games like the COD series and just about every other game with online play have got the ranked game play absolutely wrong. If you want to do some sort of leveling up and want to play a bit more serious at times, xp rankings are just about the worst way to go about it. The hodgepodge of actual skill levels and xp levels alike, all thrown into a single game makes you wonder what the companies are actually trying to get at with their rankings system. To be absolutely fair, these companies aren't actually trying to rank players based on any skill level so in their mind, the system isn't flawed. But when you are playing your VERY FIRST game on a fps on can barely move without dying, you start to question why they would allow such veteran players to be matched up with literal "noobs". And the simple answer to that is because they are lazy. Why change something that people are complaining about when it would cost you a minuscule amount of money? That's crazy!  And most companies agree with that sentiment. Most of these games also feature items that you can only unlock at a certain xp level, leaving you to deal with complete garbage in the first half of the xp levels. All games with xp rankings seem to want to glorify the better and/or more experienced players while completely ignoring the lesser talent or experienced players. It is much like life in that regard though; reward the guys that are already rewarded and punish those who actually need a little help. Ain't that some shit?

   I recently have played a few games on Facebook and one sticks out to me as a prime example of this type of stupidity. Long story short, people that it suggested were "on my level" were nowhere near that. If you were to guess that those people on my level were far better than me and that I had nearly no way of giving them competition, you would be correct. But of course I could always drop down a level and try to find people that are supposed to be less talented as my team but this also seems to be useless as they too generally feature teams with far better ratings than mine. All in all, it is a bit bewildering and very frustrating to be thoroughly enjoying a game when all of a sudden, some guy with far more experience and skill comes along and completely blows you out of the water or the game itself thinks you should be a little better than you actually are.

End point

   Having read through this entry, one might get the feeling that it is a little bitchy and I guarantee you it is meant to be that way. Being a gamer, I have come to almost expect a certain amount of bull shit from the gaming community and the game developers as well. But while I know what to expect, I naively expect that one day it will change and so I get my hopes up too high. I didn't make this post because I wanted to let off steam or I wanted to stick it to the man. I really wanted to let everyone know that all of us in the gaming world sometimes have more in common than we think. Keep your head up out there and always check your corners. 

Related topic - Offline gaming issues

Rubber band difficulty 

   I like to call it "water bottle" difficulty due to the way a water bottle, when rolled on the ground, will move slower or faster at times due to the swaying water inside of it. This is highly relevant to the issue of cheating ai or meaningless ratings but more to it's own point, it is sort of a collection of both. Personally, all puzzle games have this difficulty setting in them. It's probably more of my own mind working against me but there is usually an extremely early stage where I just have to blow all my hints or helpful whatevers just to get it half right and then there isn't another puzzle like it for a while. The rubber band difficulty shows up mostly in item based games. The game play will go from extremely difficult to downright novice depending on what particular item or character you have in stock. Another good example that is closer to the cheating AI aspect is the rare but annoying level or set of levels that get hard for no good reason. The games difficulty had been progressing just fine until that point and you have all the required materials to complete the next step, but it is so fucking hard that you wonder if the developers aren't telling you something. 

Beating the same motherfucker over and over again

   This happened a lot more in our early days of gaming. I mean back in the 90's early when Sega was still relevant. Enemies like Dr. Robotnic would just never give up. No matter how many times that douche bag blue hedgehog bounced on his machines until they were piles of scrap, the good doc would just not quit. We see it a little less in modern games but it is still an issue. Not that we don't appreciate a tough, resourceful villain, but some of these dudes seem to be a combination of Jesus and Chuck Norris. They not only dodge near death strikes or explosions, they also seem to come back twice as strong if they do happen to die. It makes you just want to pack up and go home sometimes. Good luck earth, I'm out this bitch.

The 5 Best things about being a big guy.

~The 5 best things about being a big guy~

5- You can eat more
   No not literally eat more( although you can ), I mean people sort of expect you to eat more at any given time and they'll usually offer you the last piece, half or entire friggin thing that they don't feel like finishing off. It's a nice sort of freedom to be able to pig out without too many bad looks. It is expected after all. Not that a big guy has to worry about starvation, but you sort of feel like a celebrity sometimes at a restaurant when people are throwing food your way. Hey, it ain't money but it's something.  





4- You are most likely the strongest person in the room
   This can actually get a bit trite. After years of being the go to guy for heavy lifting, this blogger is just about tired of it. Unless of course a lovely lady needs help, in which case, I would lend her a hand if she returned the favor( ba-doom chish! ).

Although I am tired of heavy lifting, a lot of big dudes love being human oxen and volunteer for any chance to prove their strength. The allure is nice and all, but I guess it isn't for everyone. 





3- Winter is your bitch
   Winter doesn't affect us big folk the same way it does you smaller fellas. We typically need less clothes because like a walrus we just got that whole insulation thing going on. More meat, more heat. Which brings up another strange rock star type of attention we get. Maybe it's just me( it probably is ), but in the winter, the bigger you are the more girls want to be around you. You're like a mobile fireplace with packs of girls vying to get closer for the warmest spot. And they don't just huddle, they will full on tackle and mount your ass. Ever seen a football game where a defender just cant bring a runner to the ground and they struggle for a few seconds? Yea it's like that, but with a vagina rubbing all over you instead of some dudes sweaty sack. It makes the boyfriends a wee bit jelly but hey, the people want what the people want. 


2- People expect less from you in many areas
The fact is, being huge gives you less credibility in most facets of society that don't involve food or random geeky knowledge. 


One of these areas is fashion. Big guys, Hawaiians, or big Hawaiians are basically the only guys that can get away with wearing a flowery shirt at any given time. So that's a win for us. We really aren't expected to know what is in fashion due to the fact that we have to pay around 50-100% more for our clothing and that clothing usually doesn't include the clothes straight from a Paris runway. Basically, as long as we aren't wearing super tight spandex, everything else looks about right on us. 


Another one of these areas is in athletics. Anything your fat ass does on a football field, a basketball court or any other sporting venue in tantamount to Michael Phelps winning a gold medal. And while you really aren't doing much compared to some other athletes, every bit of effort and skill multiplies by a huge factor and you become an instant superstar. 


The last main area of underdog greatness would lie within the social settings. If you happen to be a big guy but also a very charming social butterfly, you get the strangest looks of confusion and eventually those nice looks of smug respect; like being big somehow disqualifies you from being social somehow. Also, if you happen to have a girl( or guy ), any girl, it is somehow the grandest of achievements, the likes of which haven't been seen since the first psycho climbed Mount Everest or when that dude figured out that flour can make bread. It is a bit condescending, but alas, you reach another level of greatness if you are able to be in a relationship with anyone other than Palmala Handerson. 


1- Loosing weight changes your life
Being a guy that has gained and lost hundreds of pounds in his life, I have to say that loosing weight is the best feeling a guy like myself could have. Yes I said THE BEST feeling ever. Literally nothing else compares to the self satisfaction of putting on a pair of jeans that used to fit comfy without a belt and finding out that not only will they not stay around your waist without support, but that belt has a few more latch holes than it used to. Sure, you may not be Fabio Lanzoni yet, but you aren't the same person you used to be. 


Some people say getting money or loosing weight won't change them. BULLSHIT! It changes everyone. Have a million dollars dropped in your lap and tell me it won't change you after you fuck your way through a couple dozen whores and snort that Mt. Fuji sized pile of coke. Yea money will change you. And every pound of weight you loose is like becoming an entirely new person. You don't see yourself in the same light and the people around you certainly don't either. A pound lost becomes 10 and 20 pounds out the window turns into suspicions of rampant drug use and self torture. 


But no matter how you loose it, that feeling of accomplishment goes a long towards self esteem and confidence in ones ability to produce results.


In the end you have to be comfortable with yourself no matter what you represent or what circumstances you have found yourself in. You just have to remember to keep your wits about you and not harm anyone in the process of bettering yourself. There is a great (albeit very inaccurate) quote that rings true for anyone; "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars". It means that in our pursuit for a greater life for ourselves, even if we don't achieve all that we set out to, we will probably be better people in the end. 

2012

Expectations 2012-

{Weight Issue}
 It's about that time of year again. The time of year when we throw the old us over our shoulders and walk on down to the recycling plant to pick us up a brand new "us". We do and say the same thing year in and year out but how many of us actually take the time to follow through on one of our resolutions? I haven't made a resolution at the start of the year for many years in a row now. Mostly because while I would like to change many things about myself, It seems sort of silly to wait a whole year or any amount of time to get to work on these tasks.

    Sometime in 2011 I started to get a lot more serious about loosing weight, so I did. I'm not exactly sure how I did it though. I believe it may have been cutting out the sodas for dinner or wafting away any tasty treats that I didn't absolutely need to keep my sugar levels correct. (Yes, I am some sort of diabetic. I say some sort because I am actually not completely clear on what type I actually have. All I know is that low is good, but it is possible to go too low. So for any medical professional or students out there, have fun with that one.) It may have been my partial sushi diet that I picked up from my previous job. It also may have been the fact that I was a bit more active socially and didn't give myself the usual amount of free boredom time that I previously had. At any rate, progress was made and is still being made. I recently discovered that in full casual mode ( all clothing completely on including shoes, a hefty coat and all my daily essentials in my pocket) that I weight around 295; the lightest I have been in about 10 years. The realization was bittersweet indeed. On one hand I was a bit ashamed of myself for letting my weight get the better of me. But, on the other hand, I had accomplished something spectacular in my mind. Not only did I barely work out beyond my duties at work, but in the process I had lost around 35-50 pounds over the course of about 14 months. There goes another estimation. For someone with a few serious but manageable health issues, I sure don't know all of the superfluous facts that I could. Anyway, hear I stand! A lighter and more focused me. While I won't be gracing the television at night with my perfect, steroid charged abs, I am on the road to an entirely new world in which I have never laid eyes on. Each new pound lost feels like like Neil Armstrong's first step on that big'ol hunk of cheese. I try not to over dramatize the situation but if you could be in these shoes or wrapped in this loose belt, you might understand.

{The Return of School}
   Yyyuuuppp! It would seem to be that time of year again. The time of year when the NFL playoffs start and every team gets a new chance to make it big and show off a bit. And just as they get to restart their season, all the young ladies and old farts ( and everyone else ) get another chance to better themselves with a higher education.
   Now, I don't want to send the wrong message here. I do have a few serious issues with the education system in this country in general, but I am thankful as well for all the opportunities awarded to it's citizens. I also will not go overboard with excitement here as I am very far behind the rest of the pack as far as credit hours go. But alas, better late than never. My school situation reminds me of a quote by a little green guy named Yoda. He said, "Do or do not. There is no try." This is true for us all in the end. Either we did something, or we didn't. So while we wait for that day we can at least try until we get there.

{Writing projects}
Strangely or not, this blog isn't really on my list of writing projects. As much time and effort as I put into these things, this medium is more of a public journal of my thoughts rather than completely professional column. I don't plan on working at a newspaper or news organization anytime soon but I can see why they would find writing appealing. It is a great stress reliever and causer and you actually figure out a thing or two about yourself in the process. Distractions are a writers worst enemy though. One game of Modern Warfare 3 turns into a multiple hour affair if you don't keep track of your work. Progress isn't cheap either. Most of the time I spend on a blog is actually second guessing and editing. Writing anything is much like a movie; you can produce something around 3-8 hours in length after your first edit and still have to bring it down further until the audience gets the gist of it without getting bored of it. So, while this isn't everything I would like to say, you understand the summation of the whole.

{Mensa}
I'll try to keep this short and unpretentious so bear with me.

Basically, way back in the day, I was one of those "talented and gifted" assholes. I was also told by either the principle or someone else with privileged information that my I.Q. was somewhere in the mid 120's. The problem with this is, recently, many sources have stated that letting the students know of their intelligence information is illegal. At the same time, I have also talked to others from Texas public schools that have also received such information directly from the schools. I don't like to make huge issues out of it, but I am also rarely wrong and rarely misquote personal events.

So now, I am a bit older and much less accomplished in these times than I was in days past. So in my search to better myself I have come to the conclusion that I may qualify for membership in a certain group called Mensa. This group consists of people whose intelligence falls within the top 2% of their respective societies. Back in the school days my intelligence would have fallen within the top 7% or so. Good, but not great. For some, this would be enough but for me, it just won't do. As of September of last year I made it my goal to become truly elite and join the ranks of Mensa members. I have told many friends about this goal and some laugh as if they didn't believe I could do it. Apparently making B's in an inner city slum dog ghetto fest and doing coke gives you great insight into others' potential. As few or many that believe in me and my goals, all that really matters is what I know. While some sit contently wishing for a better tomorrow, I am nearly killing myself to make it happen with the god/nature given talent that I possess.

{In whole}
At the end of this year I hope to be at least as satisfied as I was at the end of last year. As long as old enemies and demons don't creep back into my mind, I think I will be just fine.