The 6 worst things about online gaming

The 6 worst issues facing online gamers

   So it's an average boring evening and your favorite sports team isn't playing and your girl is too busy for you. What is a man to do with his time? Well if you are anything like most young men ( and a few ladies ) out there you will pop that newest fps into your console or double click that icon on your desktop and fly away into your own little fantasy world. As common as this is, equally as common are the mountains of complaints from the gaming community in response to some of the most lazy, stupid and cowardly acts that have ever been witnessed by humanity. These games are supposed to be fun but sometimes the developers can tweak something a bit too much and ruin the experience or the community in general just makes you want to vomit. Following, we will look into some of these common issues that inspire the most hilarious of rage quits and the most infuriating outbursts from grown men.

#6 - Bad connections

Worst offenders - You or possibly the cable company?
   

   This issue is at the lowest position because in a direct or indirect way, it is on the gamer. Most connections are based on how far you are from a certain point of connection. Meaning that your ping is better the closer you are to the central hub. Now as much as I love to blame big companies for mass social issues, this happens to be more of a bad stroke of luck for most of us. Either we can't afford to higher speeds or we just live a bit too far away to make it matter anyway. But all of us have been one kill, point or something away from getting some cool reward only to find our avatars floating around lifelessly with the enemy casually strolling away. Yes this sucks but there is only so much that can be done about it. But...

   Games like COD like to use this "host" system in which the host gets the best connection and the guys feeding off of that dude get slightly lesser connections but still better than the guy below him. This system wouldnt be so bad if it weren't proven that most of the best players on average have a good team and of course, a good connection. The Modern Warfare series could take a hint from PC gaming and use a server or two to host the matches themselves, but that would just mean loosing some of their hundreds of millions in profit; and we wouldn't want that would we?

#5 - Cheating AI

Worst offenders - The Madden series

   This one barely makes the list at any spot because it is both an online and offline issue. But seeing as how a lot of Facebook games are becoming extremely popular and also feature this disgusting feature, it deserves a mention.

   "Cheating AI" is better known to the Madden community as the "Madden comeback". It is an AI( artificial intelligence ) program that has been in place since the early 2000's era Madden games. While playing a game of Madden, if one were to start loosing by an unknown amount, the Madden comeback AI triggers and the loosing players team gets a dramatic boost in ability and gives them the edge for the rest of the game. One way to combat this cheat in the programming is to keep the score relatively close so that the trigger isn't set off; another good way that is actually much harder than controlling the score is to completely blow the other player out from start to finish. The latter method seems to work best as it somehow negates the Madden comeback program.

   I'm not the only one that has noticed this either. Game Informer actually included the Madden comeback AI as one of the all time worst AI cheats in video game history. It's important to note that EA has a long history of this type of chicanery across all platforms and game types so it's nothing new or unheard of. I hate to pick on a once great titan of the industry but it's terrible mucking up of reality and horrid use of creative license has driven me insane at times.

#4 - Campers

Worst offenders - Call of Duty series and any game that rewards such actions

   Anyone that has played a first person shooter ( FPS ) for longer than 10 seconds knows the way of the campers. The definition of camping varies wildly in the gaming world but it is generally defined as; a person that holes up in or around an easily defensible  area that has tremendous cover and multiple lines of sight outward onto the field of play. This item on the list is another one that isn't completely the gamer's fault. Games like Call of Duty heavily reward camping with ridiculous kill streak weapons and even promote it with challenges that almost require one to camp out for a certain period of time. Don't get it twisted though, you don't have to earn every call sign and title and you don't have to camp to win. It is the easiest path to success as there is always a "noob" out there trying to actually play the game while there is always the "pro" sitting in the corner with his golden gun waiting to pick them off. "Golden guns" refers to a camouflage that one gets on a certain weapon after gaining a substantial amount of experience with that weapon. It's ironic that this game mirrors reality   in the way that it rewards you better power ups for doing less work.

   Never fear though! As long as there is a bridge to hide under, a corner to tuck yourself into or a big'ol rusty car to hide behind, some gamers will 

#3 - Nerfed or OP weapons or items

Worst offenders - League of Legends, COD, most MMO's

   To clear some things up here, "OP" stands for overpowered. That is pretty self explanatory. "Nerfed" means that something's power is drawn back or toned down so much that it becomes nearly useless in most practical situations.

   Lets look at the nerfed category first. When a particular item gets used a ton in any game, it automatically enters the nerfing arena. This is only natural because it's a proven fact that people love to root for the underdog, so less used less effective items are favored more than the stronger ones by certain players. This isn't to say that all nerfing situations are just a product of human empathy but it does help an item to be considered for nerfing if it more popular. The number one reason something gets nerfed though is because it is viewed as too powerful for the skill level required to use it. Take the C.O.D series for example. The weapon mounted grenade launchers and rocket launchers were considered too powerful because you didn't have to do much to get a kill. People would just load up with up to 5 explosive projectiles and spam a certain section of the map in hopes that they would land an easy kill. Now this is just seconds into a game so I can see how folks might get a little peeved. What peeved me was Infinity Ward and Treyarch's reaction to the crying little bitches. In the most recent version of the Modern Warfare series, the explosives are so weak that only a direct impact or a hit extremely close to the enemies feet or body will result in an instant kill. This is an extreme example of terrible user feedback transferred into terrible programming to limit the constant complaining from kids.

   Now lets look at the OP side of this problem. We will pick on Madden once again. I like to stick with super popular games so that hopefully someone will get comfort in the fact that they aren't the only ones that noticed it. Anyway, in games like Maddden NFL, certain popular teams get amazing ratings boosts in the game to help them out when players choose them. A lot of fans, even the casual ones, have noticed that at times the play results seem to heavily favor one side, even to the point of predetermination. This is best definition of OP that I can think of. When you know you are a better players, even possibly have a better team and the computer ( and programmers ) think otherwise, you have yourself an overpowered team on your hands. Situations like this happen all the time in the gamer world because developers try to do their best to please a certain group of people without thinking about the others. Sometimes democracy isn't all it's cracked up to be.


#2- Meaningless ratings

Worst offenders - Guess who again? MADDEN. And others.

   I swear this is the last time I will pick on the Madden series! When we talk about useless ratings, Madden tops the rankings again. Sports games have become synonymous with "sliders"; sliders being visual tools that allow you to actually change the difficulty of various aspects of the game. But in Madden, there might as well not be any sliders. It seems to be either all or nothing with them. Turn them all the way up or down to get one of two basic difficulties. Sounds fun right?! If you detected a hint of sarcasm in that last statement, you are right on the money. The empty sliders on Madden and other games give you a false sense of control and more importantly, a false sense of hope.

   Recently though, I have been playing a lot of MW3. In past games, it has been proven that the developers themselves aren't completely aware of their own programming. When certain pieces of code were broken down, it was revealed that a gun that had been shown to have the highest fire rate in the game, actually had the second highest fire rate. This may not seem like a huge deal but keen people like myself tend to question the official information after getting better or worse results from trial and error with different weapons.

   In the end, hardcore gamers would just like to know that the information on screen is correct and that there aren't useless functions in the game that make us think otherwise.

#1 - Matchmaking

Worst offenders - Almost every online game ever made

    Matchmaking tops the list because over all else, most companies just don't get it right. First, let's look at one that did get it right though.

   The Halo series. Halo 1-3 and that ODST thing they pooped onto everyone a while back set the perfect example for online matchmaking and rankings. They have a beautiful system for matching up players based on actual skill rather than accumulative experience. Their system takes into account all of the following: Kill/Death ratio, total personal score, and wins. This seems to be the fairest way to judge ones skills, since if they were to under perform, it would reflect in their rankings and they wouldn't be leveled up until they we are ready. The same goes for the better initial players as well. If the better players are truly great, their skill level will give them actual competition instead of tackling dummies that haven't caught on to the game play yet. Any game's physics already give players enough "wtf moments" but we don't need anymore of those moments given to us by players that are just above and beyond our skill levels at the time. Relative skill rankings can keep those new players from getting too frustrated in their first few days or playing, keeping them around longer and possibly giving them the chance to give the already great players a run for their money. On the monetary side of things, skill rankings give the companies more money in the long run because people aren't trading in their games a week after they bought them and swearing off the company forever thereafter. Now let's look at the bad side of things.

   Games like the COD series and just about every other game with online play have got the ranked game play absolutely wrong. If you want to do some sort of leveling up and want to play a bit more serious at times, xp rankings are just about the worst way to go about it. The hodgepodge of actual skill levels and xp levels alike, all thrown into a single game makes you wonder what the companies are actually trying to get at with their rankings system. To be absolutely fair, these companies aren't actually trying to rank players based on any skill level so in their mind, the system isn't flawed. But when you are playing your VERY FIRST game on a fps on can barely move without dying, you start to question why they would allow such veteran players to be matched up with literal "noobs". And the simple answer to that is because they are lazy. Why change something that people are complaining about when it would cost you a minuscule amount of money? That's crazy!  And most companies agree with that sentiment. Most of these games also feature items that you can only unlock at a certain xp level, leaving you to deal with complete garbage in the first half of the xp levels. All games with xp rankings seem to want to glorify the better and/or more experienced players while completely ignoring the lesser talent or experienced players. It is much like life in that regard though; reward the guys that are already rewarded and punish those who actually need a little help. Ain't that some shit?

   I recently have played a few games on Facebook and one sticks out to me as a prime example of this type of stupidity. Long story short, people that it suggested were "on my level" were nowhere near that. If you were to guess that those people on my level were far better than me and that I had nearly no way of giving them competition, you would be correct. But of course I could always drop down a level and try to find people that are supposed to be less talented as my team but this also seems to be useless as they too generally feature teams with far better ratings than mine. All in all, it is a bit bewildering and very frustrating to be thoroughly enjoying a game when all of a sudden, some guy with far more experience and skill comes along and completely blows you out of the water or the game itself thinks you should be a little better than you actually are.

End point

   Having read through this entry, one might get the feeling that it is a little bitchy and I guarantee you it is meant to be that way. Being a gamer, I have come to almost expect a certain amount of bull shit from the gaming community and the game developers as well. But while I know what to expect, I naively expect that one day it will change and so I get my hopes up too high. I didn't make this post because I wanted to let off steam or I wanted to stick it to the man. I really wanted to let everyone know that all of us in the gaming world sometimes have more in common than we think. Keep your head up out there and always check your corners. 

Related topic - Offline gaming issues

Rubber band difficulty 

   I like to call it "water bottle" difficulty due to the way a water bottle, when rolled on the ground, will move slower or faster at times due to the swaying water inside of it. This is highly relevant to the issue of cheating ai or meaningless ratings but more to it's own point, it is sort of a collection of both. Personally, all puzzle games have this difficulty setting in them. It's probably more of my own mind working against me but there is usually an extremely early stage where I just have to blow all my hints or helpful whatevers just to get it half right and then there isn't another puzzle like it for a while. The rubber band difficulty shows up mostly in item based games. The game play will go from extremely difficult to downright novice depending on what particular item or character you have in stock. Another good example that is closer to the cheating AI aspect is the rare but annoying level or set of levels that get hard for no good reason. The games difficulty had been progressing just fine until that point and you have all the required materials to complete the next step, but it is so fucking hard that you wonder if the developers aren't telling you something. 

Beating the same motherfucker over and over again

   This happened a lot more in our early days of gaming. I mean back in the 90's early when Sega was still relevant. Enemies like Dr. Robotnic would just never give up. No matter how many times that douche bag blue hedgehog bounced on his machines until they were piles of scrap, the good doc would just not quit. We see it a little less in modern games but it is still an issue. Not that we don't appreciate a tough, resourceful villain, but some of these dudes seem to be a combination of Jesus and Chuck Norris. They not only dodge near death strikes or explosions, they also seem to come back twice as strong if they do happen to die. It makes you just want to pack up and go home sometimes. Good luck earth, I'm out this bitch.

The 5 Best things about being a big guy.

~The 5 best things about being a big guy~

5- You can eat more
   No not literally eat more( although you can ), I mean people sort of expect you to eat more at any given time and they'll usually offer you the last piece, half or entire friggin thing that they don't feel like finishing off. It's a nice sort of freedom to be able to pig out without too many bad looks. It is expected after all. Not that a big guy has to worry about starvation, but you sort of feel like a celebrity sometimes at a restaurant when people are throwing food your way. Hey, it ain't money but it's something.  





4- You are most likely the strongest person in the room
   This can actually get a bit trite. After years of being the go to guy for heavy lifting, this blogger is just about tired of it. Unless of course a lovely lady needs help, in which case, I would lend her a hand if she returned the favor( ba-doom chish! ).

Although I am tired of heavy lifting, a lot of big dudes love being human oxen and volunteer for any chance to prove their strength. The allure is nice and all, but I guess it isn't for everyone. 





3- Winter is your bitch
   Winter doesn't affect us big folk the same way it does you smaller fellas. We typically need less clothes because like a walrus we just got that whole insulation thing going on. More meat, more heat. Which brings up another strange rock star type of attention we get. Maybe it's just me( it probably is ), but in the winter, the bigger you are the more girls want to be around you. You're like a mobile fireplace with packs of girls vying to get closer for the warmest spot. And they don't just huddle, they will full on tackle and mount your ass. Ever seen a football game where a defender just cant bring a runner to the ground and they struggle for a few seconds? Yea it's like that, but with a vagina rubbing all over you instead of some dudes sweaty sack. It makes the boyfriends a wee bit jelly but hey, the people want what the people want. 


2- People expect less from you in many areas
The fact is, being huge gives you less credibility in most facets of society that don't involve food or random geeky knowledge. 


One of these areas is fashion. Big guys, Hawaiians, or big Hawaiians are basically the only guys that can get away with wearing a flowery shirt at any given time. So that's a win for us. We really aren't expected to know what is in fashion due to the fact that we have to pay around 50-100% more for our clothing and that clothing usually doesn't include the clothes straight from a Paris runway. Basically, as long as we aren't wearing super tight spandex, everything else looks about right on us. 


Another one of these areas is in athletics. Anything your fat ass does on a football field, a basketball court or any other sporting venue in tantamount to Michael Phelps winning a gold medal. And while you really aren't doing much compared to some other athletes, every bit of effort and skill multiplies by a huge factor and you become an instant superstar. 


The last main area of underdog greatness would lie within the social settings. If you happen to be a big guy but also a very charming social butterfly, you get the strangest looks of confusion and eventually those nice looks of smug respect; like being big somehow disqualifies you from being social somehow. Also, if you happen to have a girl( or guy ), any girl, it is somehow the grandest of achievements, the likes of which haven't been seen since the first psycho climbed Mount Everest or when that dude figured out that flour can make bread. It is a bit condescending, but alas, you reach another level of greatness if you are able to be in a relationship with anyone other than Palmala Handerson. 


1- Loosing weight changes your life
Being a guy that has gained and lost hundreds of pounds in his life, I have to say that loosing weight is the best feeling a guy like myself could have. Yes I said THE BEST feeling ever. Literally nothing else compares to the self satisfaction of putting on a pair of jeans that used to fit comfy without a belt and finding out that not only will they not stay around your waist without support, but that belt has a few more latch holes than it used to. Sure, you may not be Fabio Lanzoni yet, but you aren't the same person you used to be. 


Some people say getting money or loosing weight won't change them. BULLSHIT! It changes everyone. Have a million dollars dropped in your lap and tell me it won't change you after you fuck your way through a couple dozen whores and snort that Mt. Fuji sized pile of coke. Yea money will change you. And every pound of weight you loose is like becoming an entirely new person. You don't see yourself in the same light and the people around you certainly don't either. A pound lost becomes 10 and 20 pounds out the window turns into suspicions of rampant drug use and self torture. 


But no matter how you loose it, that feeling of accomplishment goes a long towards self esteem and confidence in ones ability to produce results.


In the end you have to be comfortable with yourself no matter what you represent or what circumstances you have found yourself in. You just have to remember to keep your wits about you and not harm anyone in the process of bettering yourself. There is a great (albeit very inaccurate) quote that rings true for anyone; "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars". It means that in our pursuit for a greater life for ourselves, even if we don't achieve all that we set out to, we will probably be better people in the end. 

2012

Expectations 2012-

{Weight Issue}
 It's about that time of year again. The time of year when we throw the old us over our shoulders and walk on down to the recycling plant to pick us up a brand new "us". We do and say the same thing year in and year out but how many of us actually take the time to follow through on one of our resolutions? I haven't made a resolution at the start of the year for many years in a row now. Mostly because while I would like to change many things about myself, It seems sort of silly to wait a whole year or any amount of time to get to work on these tasks.

    Sometime in 2011 I started to get a lot more serious about loosing weight, so I did. I'm not exactly sure how I did it though. I believe it may have been cutting out the sodas for dinner or wafting away any tasty treats that I didn't absolutely need to keep my sugar levels correct. (Yes, I am some sort of diabetic. I say some sort because I am actually not completely clear on what type I actually have. All I know is that low is good, but it is possible to go too low. So for any medical professional or students out there, have fun with that one.) It may have been my partial sushi diet that I picked up from my previous job. It also may have been the fact that I was a bit more active socially and didn't give myself the usual amount of free boredom time that I previously had. At any rate, progress was made and is still being made. I recently discovered that in full casual mode ( all clothing completely on including shoes, a hefty coat and all my daily essentials in my pocket) that I weight around 295; the lightest I have been in about 10 years. The realization was bittersweet indeed. On one hand I was a bit ashamed of myself for letting my weight get the better of me. But, on the other hand, I had accomplished something spectacular in my mind. Not only did I barely work out beyond my duties at work, but in the process I had lost around 35-50 pounds over the course of about 14 months. There goes another estimation. For someone with a few serious but manageable health issues, I sure don't know all of the superfluous facts that I could. Anyway, hear I stand! A lighter and more focused me. While I won't be gracing the television at night with my perfect, steroid charged abs, I am on the road to an entirely new world in which I have never laid eyes on. Each new pound lost feels like like Neil Armstrong's first step on that big'ol hunk of cheese. I try not to over dramatize the situation but if you could be in these shoes or wrapped in this loose belt, you might understand.

{The Return of School}
   Yyyuuuppp! It would seem to be that time of year again. The time of year when the NFL playoffs start and every team gets a new chance to make it big and show off a bit. And just as they get to restart their season, all the young ladies and old farts ( and everyone else ) get another chance to better themselves with a higher education.
   Now, I don't want to send the wrong message here. I do have a few serious issues with the education system in this country in general, but I am thankful as well for all the opportunities awarded to it's citizens. I also will not go overboard with excitement here as I am very far behind the rest of the pack as far as credit hours go. But alas, better late than never. My school situation reminds me of a quote by a little green guy named Yoda. He said, "Do or do not. There is no try." This is true for us all in the end. Either we did something, or we didn't. So while we wait for that day we can at least try until we get there.

{Writing projects}
Strangely or not, this blog isn't really on my list of writing projects. As much time and effort as I put into these things, this medium is more of a public journal of my thoughts rather than completely professional column. I don't plan on working at a newspaper or news organization anytime soon but I can see why they would find writing appealing. It is a great stress reliever and causer and you actually figure out a thing or two about yourself in the process. Distractions are a writers worst enemy though. One game of Modern Warfare 3 turns into a multiple hour affair if you don't keep track of your work. Progress isn't cheap either. Most of the time I spend on a blog is actually second guessing and editing. Writing anything is much like a movie; you can produce something around 3-8 hours in length after your first edit and still have to bring it down further until the audience gets the gist of it without getting bored of it. So, while this isn't everything I would like to say, you understand the summation of the whole.

{Mensa}
I'll try to keep this short and unpretentious so bear with me.

Basically, way back in the day, I was one of those "talented and gifted" assholes. I was also told by either the principle or someone else with privileged information that my I.Q. was somewhere in the mid 120's. The problem with this is, recently, many sources have stated that letting the students know of their intelligence information is illegal. At the same time, I have also talked to others from Texas public schools that have also received such information directly from the schools. I don't like to make huge issues out of it, but I am also rarely wrong and rarely misquote personal events.

So now, I am a bit older and much less accomplished in these times than I was in days past. So in my search to better myself I have come to the conclusion that I may qualify for membership in a certain group called Mensa. This group consists of people whose intelligence falls within the top 2% of their respective societies. Back in the school days my intelligence would have fallen within the top 7% or so. Good, but not great. For some, this would be enough but for me, it just won't do. As of September of last year I made it my goal to become truly elite and join the ranks of Mensa members. I have told many friends about this goal and some laugh as if they didn't believe I could do it. Apparently making B's in an inner city slum dog ghetto fest and doing coke gives you great insight into others' potential. As few or many that believe in me and my goals, all that really matters is what I know. While some sit contently wishing for a better tomorrow, I am nearly killing myself to make it happen with the god/nature given talent that I possess.

{In whole}
At the end of this year I hope to be at least as satisfied as I was at the end of last year. As long as old enemies and demons don't creep back into my mind, I think I will be just fine.