~The 5 best things about being a big guy~
5- You can eat more
No not literally eat more( although you can ), I mean people sort of expect you to eat more at any given time and they'll usually offer you the last piece, half or entire friggin thing that they don't feel like finishing off. It's a nice sort of freedom to be able to pig out without too many bad looks. It is expected after all. Not that a big guy has to worry about starvation, but you sort of feel like a celebrity sometimes at a restaurant when people are throwing food your way. Hey, it ain't money but it's something.
4- You are most likely the strongest person in the room
This can actually get a bit trite. After years of being the go to guy for heavy lifting, this blogger is just about tired of it. Unless of course a lovely lady needs help, in which case, I would lend her a hand if she returned the favor( ba-doom chish! ).
Although I am tired of heavy lifting, a lot of big dudes love being human oxen and volunteer for any chance to prove their strength. The allure is nice and all, but I guess it isn't for everyone.
3- Winter is your bitch
Winter doesn't affect us big folk the same way it does you smaller fellas. We typically need less clothes because like a walrus we just got that whole insulation thing going on. More meat, more heat. Which brings up another strange rock star type of attention we get. Maybe it's just me( it probably is ), but in the winter, the bigger you are the more girls want to be around you. You're like a mobile fireplace with packs of girls vying to get closer for the warmest spot. And they don't just huddle, they will full on tackle and mount your ass. Ever seen a football game where a defender just cant bring a runner to the ground and they struggle for a few seconds? Yea it's like that, but with a vagina rubbing all over you instead of some dudes sweaty sack. It makes the boyfriends a wee bit jelly but hey, the people want what the people want.
2- People expect less from you in many areas
The fact is, being huge gives you less credibility in most facets of society that don't involve food or random geeky knowledge.
One of these areas is fashion. Big guys, Hawaiians, or big Hawaiians are basically the only guys that can get away with wearing a flowery shirt at any given time. So that's a win for us. We really aren't expected to know what is in fashion due to the fact that we have to pay around 50-100% more for our clothing and that clothing usually doesn't include the clothes straight from a Paris runway. Basically, as long as we aren't wearing super tight spandex, everything else looks about right on us.
Another one of these areas is in athletics. Anything your fat ass does on a football field, a basketball court or any other sporting venue in tantamount to Michael Phelps winning a gold medal. And while you really aren't doing much compared to some other athletes, every bit of effort and skill multiplies by a huge factor and you become an instant superstar.
The last main area of underdog greatness would lie within the social settings. If you happen to be a big guy but also a very charming social butterfly, you get the strangest looks of confusion and eventually those nice looks of smug respect; like being big somehow disqualifies you from being social somehow. Also, if you happen to have a girl( or guy ), any girl, it is somehow the grandest of achievements, the likes of which haven't been seen since the first psycho climbed Mount Everest or when that dude figured out that flour can make bread. It is a bit condescending, but alas, you reach another level of greatness if you are able to be in a relationship with anyone other than Palmala Handerson.
1- Loosing weight changes your life
Being a guy that has gained and lost hundreds of pounds in his life, I have to say that loosing weight is the best feeling a guy like myself could have. Yes I said THE BEST feeling ever. Literally nothing else compares to the self satisfaction of putting on a pair of jeans that used to fit comfy without a belt and finding out that not only will they not stay around your waist without support, but that belt has a few more latch holes than it used to. Sure, you may not be Fabio Lanzoni yet, but you aren't the same person you used to be.
Some people say getting money or loosing weight won't change them. BULLSHIT! It changes everyone. Have a million dollars dropped in your lap and tell me it won't change you after you fuck your way through a couple dozen whores and snort that Mt. Fuji sized pile of coke. Yea money will change you. And every pound of weight you loose is like becoming an entirely new person. You don't see yourself in the same light and the people around you certainly don't either. A pound lost becomes 10 and 20 pounds out the window turns into suspicions of rampant drug use and self torture.
But no matter how you loose it, that feeling of accomplishment goes a long towards self esteem and confidence in ones ability to produce results.
In the end you have to be comfortable with yourself no matter what you represent or what circumstances you have found yourself in. You just have to remember to keep your wits about you and not harm anyone in the process of bettering yourself. There is a great (albeit very inaccurate) quote that rings true for anyone; "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars". It means that in our pursuit for a greater life for ourselves, even if we don't achieve all that we set out to, we will probably be better people in the end.
No not literally eat more( although you can ), I mean people sort of expect you to eat more at any given time and they'll usually offer you the last piece, half or entire friggin thing that they don't feel like finishing off. It's a nice sort of freedom to be able to pig out without too many bad looks. It is expected after all. Not that a big guy has to worry about starvation, but you sort of feel like a celebrity sometimes at a restaurant when people are throwing food your way. Hey, it ain't money but it's something.
4- You are most likely the strongest person in the room
This can actually get a bit trite. After years of being the go to guy for heavy lifting, this blogger is just about tired of it. Unless of course a lovely lady needs help, in which case, I would lend her a hand if she returned the favor( ba-doom chish! ).
Although I am tired of heavy lifting, a lot of big dudes love being human oxen and volunteer for any chance to prove their strength. The allure is nice and all, but I guess it isn't for everyone.
3- Winter is your bitch
Winter doesn't affect us big folk the same way it does you smaller fellas. We typically need less clothes because like a walrus we just got that whole insulation thing going on. More meat, more heat. Which brings up another strange rock star type of attention we get. Maybe it's just me( it probably is ), but in the winter, the bigger you are the more girls want to be around you. You're like a mobile fireplace with packs of girls vying to get closer for the warmest spot. And they don't just huddle, they will full on tackle and mount your ass. Ever seen a football game where a defender just cant bring a runner to the ground and they struggle for a few seconds? Yea it's like that, but with a vagina rubbing all over you instead of some dudes sweaty sack. It makes the boyfriends a wee bit jelly but hey, the people want what the people want.
2- People expect less from you in many areas
The fact is, being huge gives you less credibility in most facets of society that don't involve food or random geeky knowledge.
One of these areas is fashion. Big guys, Hawaiians, or big Hawaiians are basically the only guys that can get away with wearing a flowery shirt at any given time. So that's a win for us. We really aren't expected to know what is in fashion due to the fact that we have to pay around 50-100% more for our clothing and that clothing usually doesn't include the clothes straight from a Paris runway. Basically, as long as we aren't wearing super tight spandex, everything else looks about right on us.
Another one of these areas is in athletics. Anything your fat ass does on a football field, a basketball court or any other sporting venue in tantamount to Michael Phelps winning a gold medal. And while you really aren't doing much compared to some other athletes, every bit of effort and skill multiplies by a huge factor and you become an instant superstar.
The last main area of underdog greatness would lie within the social settings. If you happen to be a big guy but also a very charming social butterfly, you get the strangest looks of confusion and eventually those nice looks of smug respect; like being big somehow disqualifies you from being social somehow. Also, if you happen to have a girl( or guy ), any girl, it is somehow the grandest of achievements, the likes of which haven't been seen since the first psycho climbed Mount Everest or when that dude figured out that flour can make bread. It is a bit condescending, but alas, you reach another level of greatness if you are able to be in a relationship with anyone other than Palmala Handerson.
1- Loosing weight changes your life
Being a guy that has gained and lost hundreds of pounds in his life, I have to say that loosing weight is the best feeling a guy like myself could have. Yes I said THE BEST feeling ever. Literally nothing else compares to the self satisfaction of putting on a pair of jeans that used to fit comfy without a belt and finding out that not only will they not stay around your waist without support, but that belt has a few more latch holes than it used to. Sure, you may not be Fabio Lanzoni yet, but you aren't the same person you used to be.
Some people say getting money or loosing weight won't change them. BULLSHIT! It changes everyone. Have a million dollars dropped in your lap and tell me it won't change you after you fuck your way through a couple dozen whores and snort that Mt. Fuji sized pile of coke. Yea money will change you. And every pound of weight you loose is like becoming an entirely new person. You don't see yourself in the same light and the people around you certainly don't either. A pound lost becomes 10 and 20 pounds out the window turns into suspicions of rampant drug use and self torture.
But no matter how you loose it, that feeling of accomplishment goes a long towards self esteem and confidence in ones ability to produce results.
In the end you have to be comfortable with yourself no matter what you represent or what circumstances you have found yourself in. You just have to remember to keep your wits about you and not harm anyone in the process of bettering yourself. There is a great (albeit very inaccurate) quote that rings true for anyone; "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars". It means that in our pursuit for a greater life for ourselves, even if we don't achieve all that we set out to, we will probably be better people in the end.
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